No matter how strong we think we are, our strength is destined to fail. No matter how solid we think our relationships are, they are truly destined for failure. Whether it is a friendship, boyfriend or girlfriend, or marriage, they start off destined to fail. Right from the beginning. Why? A relationship consists of two very imperfect people striving to create and maintain something happy and perfect. It really is a recipe for disaster.

As a result of our sin nature, we bring things into our relationships that can easily throw it off course. Things like jealousy, deceit, lying, abandonment, idolatry, lust, selfishness, and the list goes on. But there are ways, just like the gardener, that we can safeguard those relationships. How?

In a devotional I read this morning, relationships can be compared to growing a garden. Both take an extensive amount of work. The moment we think they no longer require nurturing, things start to go awry. Have you ever planted a garden? You found the perfect place in your yard, you tilled the ground, you removed stones, and you planted the seeds. But the work really just began. The garden must thrive to yield the crops you desired. When you first looked out at your yard, you had the vision of your own Garden of Eden. The work must continue. How then do we do this?

A garden requires its gardener to consistently water the crops. Without the proper amount of water, the seeds will dry up in the ground before they ever begin to sprout. In the same way, those in a relationship must not allow their relationship to grow stagnant. Each person in the relationship must continue to “water” what was initially planted. Complacency is a common killer in all relationships.

A garden often must be protected from animals. Rabbits, deer, and rodents will wreak havoc on plants as they begin to grow. Additionally, the plants require something to keep invasive species of insects from devouring any crops that are produced. In the same way, a husband and wife must protect their marriage. There must be boundaries established. Setting boundaries with family members can often become tricky. However, boundaries must be put into place. Borders and boundaries aren’t meant to be cruel to those outside, but rather to protect what is inside. Outside forces have always existed. Since the very beginning of humanity, there were forces and things which existed. These forces sought to sneak in and destroy. We read about this in Genesis 3 when the devil tempted Eve. Because of that one decision that she and her husband made, sin entered the world. Because of that one simple act of disobedience, everything we combat now in our relationships, exists. More importantly, that one act of defiance and through sin that resulted, our relationship with our Creator was severed. Only through faith in Jesus Christ can that relationship be restored.

For as through the one man’s disobedience the many were appointed sinners, even so through the obedience of the One the many will be appointed righteous.

Romans 5:19, LSB

One of the things the gardener must consistently do, is prune their plants and purge their garden of weeds. Even once all the tilling, planting, and watering, the work continues. Weeds must be removed. If allowed to grow and go unchecked, weeds will choke out any new growth and destroy any crops. Similarly, relationships must be continuously monitored for “weeds.” Anything that wasn’t intended to be in our relationships must be pruned and purged from growing. Just like the weeds in a garden, these things tend to grow through complacency and becoming comfortable. It is better to catch them early on before their roots become strong and are more difficult to remove.

By taking the same lessons learned through gardening, we can make our relationships stronger. There will always be things that seek to invade, take over, and destroy what we initially envisioned. That’s what sin does. But, we can take precautions and steps to safeguard our relationships. We can establish boundaries, invest, fail to grow comfortable or complacent, and weed out those things before they take root. But most importantly, we can look to Jesus Christ and God’s Word.

You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with a weaker vessel, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered. Now to sum up, all of you be like-minded, sympathetic, brotherly, tender-hearted, and humble in spirit; not returning evil for evil or reviling for reviling, but giving a blessing instead, for you were called for the very purpose that you might inherit a blessing.

1 Peter 3:7-9, LSB